One of the most important things you will do as an adult is to help build and maintain a child's self-esteem. You must recognize each child as unique and as individuals have their own strengths and weaknesses. By praising attempts at tasks and by breaking larger ones down into manageable segments, they will not feel overwhelmed and a failure. If your child remembered to hand in their homework three times this week instead of handling in none, then praise is appropriate. Maybe, they can pick out the dessert for dinner. Perhaps, you need to revisit the strategies you helped them put in place so they wouldn't forget or lose it.

If you send a child into the disaster of a bedroom and tell them you just don't see how they can live like this, they will hear the disappointment and criticism. If you help them (for the twentieth time), you might suggest picking up the clothes first. Are they clean or dirty? Does an item slip off the hangar easily? Show how to fix it so it doesn't. Young children have difficulty with time. When you say, "I want your room cleaned in ten minutes", the task must be manageable within that time frame. If you say that their favorite show is coming on in 30 minutes and set a timer, your child can literally see time moving." Teens are notorious about how their rooms are kept. You need to decide on the level of order you will accept. Perhaps, they would like extra time on the phone or computer.

Sarcasm is cutting and disrespectful to the person your child is. Some children will meltdown at a harsh word and others will put up defenses while crying on the inside. In the helter-skelter world we live in, it is so easy to take our frustration out on our children. It is very important to be aware of this. If you do erupt on your children, apologize. It is what you would expect from them. If you burn the chicken and tell your child "if I weren't having to help you do this, that wouldn't have happened", you are not modeling the acceptance of your responsibility in the matter. Our children learn by the examples parents and teachers set. Praise their efforts and model how a task is done or ask how they how they could do it better. If you continually criticize, embarrass or express disappointment to your child, sooner or later they will stop trying at all.