Parenting is not easy even with two parents. The single parent needs to know up front that they cannot fill the role of both mother and father. However, you can be a good and successful parent despite the fact that children do not come with a manual of any kind. These guidelines may be helpful to you and your child. You need to take care of yourself. If you are not mentally and physically well, you cannot take care of your child. You need to have a place to live that is safe and secure. Although it may not be a mansion, it is the relationship between you and your child that makes it a home. A positive attitude will help you stay focused on your goals and the needs of your child. Regardless of the reason you have become a single parent, your child needs to be reminded that there is hope for the future. If an ex-spouse/partner is involved, it is in the best interest of your child that you agree to disagree not in their presense. Your child needs to feel loved by each parent and not be caught in the middle trying to please each. No child should be the 'go between' their parents. You should have established good communication between you and your child so that they feel that they can come to you with any problem. You will benefit from a support system for yourself. Surround yourself with friends and family. If you need child care, please check out the facility and their record very carefully. Have a backup plan should your child become ill. Listen to what your child says. Children have worries of their own. They worry if the surviving parent will disappear too and who will take care of them if that should happen. Often, a child might resent the change in their living situation and take their anger out on you. Some teenagers feel overwhelmed and resentful when they have to accept additional chores or care of younger siblings. Sometimes children of divorces feel betrayed and even rejected. You need to make sure your child feels loved but you also need to sit down and discuss family values, problem solving techniques, and boundaries that you expect concerning their academics and behavior. You, as the adult, need to model good decision making strategies, sticking to your principles and keeping your word. Trust is a component not to be taken lightly. If you do these things, you are more apt to have a trusting, loving relationship with your child. You also set an example for your child if you ask for help when you need it. Resources for help, when and where to get it should be established. You will feel more confident and when you exhibit confidence and a positive attitude, both you and your child will feel safer and more secure. |
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