It is never too late to begin telling your child that stealing is wrong. Parents and caretakers should model proper behavior for children. When children are quite young, they can be given an item and the money to pay for it. For example, when my daughter or son wanted a book, I would have the cashier ring it up separately and have my child hand them money to pay for the item. They quickly learned that things must be paid for. If they took a toy from a sibling, they were told that so and so was playing with it first and to give it back. They were reassured that when the other child was finished with it then it would be their turn. These are important opportunities for teaching that taking things from others (stealing) is wrong. Experts agree that it is very important for children develop an idea of right and wrong as early as is appropriate. If a child ends up at the car with an item that you did not purchase, they should be taken back into the store. Ask for the manager. It is VERY important that before they speak to your child that you explain the situation and that you want the child told that it is wrong to take things without paying. Your child should hand the item back to the manager. If you don't do this, a manager will frequently say something like, "that's ok." and pat the kid on the head. Instead, a more appropriate reply should be, "I hope you've learned your lesson." You may need to coach the manager as to what you want them to say. A general rule of thumb offered by experts is this: At age 4, you should not use the word "steal" because that means nothing to a child that young. They do understand, "you do not take things from other people." By 6-7 years of age, they should see the store manager. At the age of 10, some form of restitution should be made. One example is to have the youngster sweep the parking lot for an hour (with supervision, of course.) If your teenager steals, they should not only make full restitution but should have some additional penalty as well. We cannot afford to be lenient with our children because they will assume that other kinds of things such as damaging property are ok as well. It is not too early to teach your child that they need to pay for things they wantfrom a store. |
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