Your little one throws themself on the floor, kicks, screams and cries, creating moments of chaotic activities that seem to last forever. Experts say that temper tantrums are part of normal development in children who are between one and three to four years of age. Most of the tantrums occur during the child's second year. Their rants usually last from 30 seconds to a few minutes. These frenetic activities may also include kicking, biting, pinching and hitting. Some young ones are more inclined to temper tantrums than others. During these tantrums, always make sure your child cannot hurt themselves, others or destroy things. It is generally thought that these fits of tantrumming are a result of the child's frustration with his or her world as they are working to gain some independence within their environment. Children are not born with internal controls of dissatisfaction and when they feel thwarted or frustrated, they do not have the words to express how they are feeling. Temper tantrums may be triggered by something as simple as being told, "no" or by being unable to button a button. Some other precipitating factors for temper tantrums are being overly tired, having skipped nap time, stress or as a reaction to adult stress and frustration. You might want to think about what triggers your child's tantrums and head them off before they start. You may want to rethink running errands beyond what might be your child's nap time or getting them off schedule relating to meals. Children feel safe when life is predictable and when they are well fed and comfortable. The first thing to do is to keep your cool. By yelling or reacting strongly, you may be 'pouring fuel on the fire'. Second, experts agree that you should not scream at your child or spank them during one of these tantrums. You are not modeling the kind of behavior that your are expecting from them. Third, after making sure that your child cannot hurt themselves, walk away but not out of their sight. If you do, they will likely feel abandoned. Fourth, give toddlers very simple choices. "Do you want apple juice or milk?" or "Do you want to wear your green or red shirt? Catch your child being patient orresponding to choices appropriately and praise your child for good behavior. After the age of three years and your child continues to have temper tantrums, you should "time out" your child until they are calm. Tell them that they need to stay in their time out chair (for example) until them are calm. Keep your conversations simple and to the point when they are calm enough to listen. If your child has repeated and violent tantrums, you need to contact your pediatrician for further advice. There may be some underlying reasons for the tantrums. Hopefully, by using some modeling of appropriate behavior, being patient, taking naptime and mealtime into consideration when going out with your child, and using time out, you and your child will have a calmer time together. |
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