On the day my 3-year old daughter announced that she was going outside to play with Jimmy and Joey, she had my undivided attention. I was, to say the least, surprised as there were no children in our neighborhood at the time. Out the door she went and I was left to ponder why my precocious, highly verbal little girl had created not one, but two imaginary friends.

It seems that this is a very natural thing for children her age to do. It is a very creative way for children aged 3-5 to explore the ever expanding world in which they live. Some imaginary friends range from the mundane and bland Jimmy and Joey to naughty rascals. Others are scapegoats for the mishaps that occur during a child’s day such as splashing water on the bathroom floor or breaking something. This is just another way children explore the concepts of cause and effect and how they might fit into the grand scheme. Most “friends” disappear as their creator moves into their school years. However, some “friends” have been known to go to school as protectors of or security for their creators. Some psychologists such as Marjorie Taylor, Head of Psychology at the University of Oregon, believe that the “friends” do not disappear so much as turn into other forms of creative play.

These imaginary friends may come into existence as a result of a new baby, a divorce or an impending move.
According to Anita Gurian, Ph.D. about 65% of children create imaginary friends. Some parents may be alarmed because they think something is missing from their child’s life. Children are constantly evaluating their worlds for what is real and what is fantasy. Dr. Gurian says that imaginary friends are the products of curious and creative minds and, that these children often grow up to be curious and creative adults.

Should you be concerned if your child has an imaginary friend? Most experts indicate that it depends on the intensity and duration of the imaginary relationship especially if that relationship precludes interacting and relating with real persons. If this is occurs, then a psychologist may be consulted to determine if there is a problem. Parents should not demean or put down their child’s “friends”. Instead, they should gently let their child know that Jimmy and Joey are not real and, enjoy the “magic” this innovative and natural relationship provides as a reflection of the creative and curious child that is theirs.